How can I handle discouragement?[1]

Nehemiah 4

Thursday was Louise’s 21st birthday and she arranged a party in the evening for her friends. Our old BBQ was looking a little fragile, propped up by a brick because it had lost one of its wheels somewhere in the garden. Discouraged? Yes. So, we decided to buy a new, larger, more industrial size charcoal BBQ to cope with the amount of food we would need to cook. Homebase had just the right model – gleaming silver with a double grill. On the side of the flat packed box weighing 35 kilos, in print small enough for you to miss, were those words that strike terror into the hearts of most former Airfix kit addicts “Some assembly required” Discouraged?

 

Its funny how the short term memory plays tricks on you and you forget the last time you tried to home assemble something. To allay any anxiety, in larger print was a symbol that indicted how little time it would take to have your BBQ looking like the one in the shop. Just 30 minutes. They lied. They always lie. Discouraged?

 

Laid out on the vicarage lawn, I discovered there were 21 different parts and 42 bolts and 42 nuts of three different lengths and an instruction page that made constructing a Boeing 757 fuselage look like a piece of cake. Only a robot with multiple arms could assemble that BBQ in 30 minutes. It took me two and a half hours and then only because I decided to drill some extra holes to get the bolts to reach the nuts. I think they do it on purpose. Discouraged?

 

Somehow it never looks like the one in the shop. Never mind. It was already 7:00pm and time to get the charcoal alight. But the one thing they hadn’t explained was how to use it. Maybe they think you learn how to light a BBQ in Home Economics in 6th Form. So I did the obvious thing. I piled 10 kilos of charcoal into the base of my new silver BBQ, placed the protective heavy duty grill over the charcoal, a nice touch I thought, poured on half a litre of thick charcoal lighter fluid and used a gas lighter to start the fire. Within minutes I had the finest charcoal BBQ in the world, well and truly a light. Discouraged?

 

A cursory scan showed that the base of the BBQ wasn’t as strong as I had thought and was beginning to buckle under the intense heat of ten kilos of charcoal now reaching 2,012 degrees Fahrenheit, 1,100 degrees Centigrade. Then it dawned on me that the heavy duty grill I had placed over the charcoal was probably intended to be under the charcoal. Discouraged?

 

The party is starting in under an hour. There are mounds of meat to cook and I’m standing in front of a BBQ that is probably not going to last the night out. The challenge? How do you get 10 kilos of charcoal burning at 1000 degrees off the BBQ, place the grills back and then put the charcoal back on top. Using the old BBQ base and a shovel, and reminiscent of the technique used by stoker on the old steam trains, I moved the burning charcoal. Now in a bowl, I couldn’t use the shovel to return it to the grill. Solution? The only way was to use a pair of tongues and place the charcoal, one brick at a time back onto the grill.

 

As I was undertaking this delicate, labour intensive operation, I began to think, “how can I turn this life lesson into a sermon illustration?” Now I know what it must feel like to have burning coals on your head. Jesus might have added though, “But don’t try this at home”.

 

What do you do when you have the world’s deadliest disease? No, not cancer, polio, MS, or even AIDS. Discouragement. Three things make discouragement a deadly disease:

 

It’s universal. If, as we saw last week, one in four of us will suffer from depression this year, everyone of us gets discouraged. I do. You do. We all do. Daily.

 

It’s recurring. Discouragement is not just a one-time dis-ease, you get multiple opportunities to get discouraged.

 

It’s contagious. In fact it is highly contagious. My discouragement will infect you and vice versa. It rubs off.


But there is good news. Discouragement is actually curable. A story from the life of Nehemiah illustrates four causes and three cures for discouragement. Please turn to Nehemiah 4 with me. You may know that Nehemiah was a leader of the Jewish people who had returned to Israel from Babylon to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. When they first started on the wall, they had a lot of fervour, excitement, and zeal. But after working for a while they got discouraged.

 

Chapter 4 of Nehemiah shows why people get discouraged and how to keep going when you feel like giving up. Notice the change of heart from verse 6 to verse 12.

 

6So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart. 7 But when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the people of Ashdod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem’s walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed, they were very angry.  8 They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it…10 Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.” 11 Also our enemies said, “Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work.” 12 Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, “Wherever you turn, they will attack us.” (Nehemiah 4:6-12)

 

Maybe you can identify with them. You have probably experienced this mood more often than you want to remember. You may be discouraged right now. This story shows why people become discouraged and how we can overcome our discouragement. God’s word tells us what to do when we feel like giving up.

 

Four Causes of Discouragement

 

1. Fatigue: Just Plain Tired:  

The people in Judah said, "The strength of the labourers is giving out." (Nehemiah 4:10). They had worked a long time and were physically exhausted and emotionally drained. When do fatigue and discouragement often come? Look at verse 6: "So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height." (Nehemiah 4:6).  When you're apt to get discouraged the most? When you're halfway through a project. Have you ever painted a room? You get excited choosing the colours, you get the room ready enthusiastically and start painting with energy.


You stop for coffee a third of the way through, and then as you pick up the brush again, your arms start to ache, you notice the drops of paint on the floor and your clothes and you reckon you are only half way. The light begins to fade and you begin to feel weary. You look around at how much you still have to do and remember that even when you have finished, you still have to clear up. And discouragement sets in. Fatigue is the number one cause of discouragement. That is why we leave so many things half finished, incomplete and undone.

 

Fatigue: Just plain tired. Then there is,

 

2. Frustration: Too Much Rubbish

Notice in verse 10, the people said, "There is so much rubble that we cannot build the wall." (Nehemiah 4:10)

 

They were not only fatigued, they became frustrated. They were trying to build a new wall, but all around them were old broken rocks, debris and dirt and dried-out mortar. The rubble caused discouragement. They lost sight of their goal because they were distracted by the rubble. Whenever we focus on the rubble instead of our objective, we are liable to get discouraged. For years I wouldn’t let anyone in my study because it had grown out of control. I was so preoccupied with the ministry, teaching, pasturing, training and doing my research, I was too busy to file my folders, prune my papers or sort my shelves of books. I kept putting off the day and got more and more frustrated until there was no natural light through the obscured windows and only a narrow path from the door to my computer.

 

So last Easter I decided to act. I removed everything from my study and started again. It is now tidy and organised because I moved everything non-essential into the garage where the rubbish has accumulated. I’m slowly selling my unwanted books on Amazon. At least now I don’t have to look at it. The rubbish in your life is anything that distracts you from accomplishing your priorities. Anything that takes your eyes off your mission.

 

Fatigue: Just plain tired.

Frustration: Too much rubbish.

 

3. Failure: Add some demotivators

A third reason people get discouraged is because of the ministry of demotivators. In verse 10 it says, the people said, "We cannot rebuild the wall." Think about that. Who sais “We cannot rebuild the wall?” Someone had to have set them off first. Someone with the gift of demotivation. Its most unlikely that they spontaneously said in harmony “We cannot rebuild the wall” Someone must have stood up and said the royal “We…” and others accepted the prognosis and began to say the same thing – they had failed and pretty soon it became true. Because they couldn’t finish their task as quickly as they had originally planned, they lost heart and their confidence went down the tubes. It only takes one gifted demotivator to destroy the morale of a team. Get a bunch of them together and cynicism and despair are inevitable.

 

You know they even have a website dedicated to their ministry. It is called www.despair.com and I warmly recommend it.

 

The fact is – it wasn’t true. They could rebuild the wall. It wasn’t a question of ability but motivation. Not can’t build but won’t build. How do you handle failure in your life? Do you say, "Woe is me. I can't get this job done"? Do you start complaining? "It's impossible. It can't be done. I was a fool to even try. It's stupid." Or do you blame other people? "Everyone else let me down. They didn't do their part of the job." The difference between winners and losers is that winners see failure as a temporary inconvenience. Failure doesn’t have to be an end state but can be a learning opportunity.

 

Fatigue: Just plain tired.

Frustration: Too much rubbish.

Failure: Add some demotivators.

 

4. Fear: Become paralysed by critics

"Our enemies said, ‘Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work.’" (Nehemiah 4:11).

 

Notice who said this. Their enemies? No. They did! Nehemiah’s people said “Our enemies said…” A wall around the city represented safety and defence, so these enemies did not want the wall to be finished. They first criticized, then ridiculed, then threatened the Jews: "We're going to kill you if you keep on building the wall." Notice who it was that got discouraged. It was "the Jews who lived near" the enemy (Nehemiah 4:12). Then they discouraged others by saying, "Wherever you turn, they will attack us."

 

This is called the “Chicken Little Syndrome”. When you hang around a negative person long enough, you know what happens? You pick up their negativism. It is infectious. If you hear someone keep saying to you, "It can't be done," “you’ll fail” “you are wasting your time” petty soon you will believe them. How can you tell whether your discouragement is caused by fear – whether that’s fear of embarrassment, fear of criticism, or fear of failure?  You will feel a deep, intense desire to run. That’s because the natural reaction to fear is escape. Now do you see how lethal discouragement can be? Do you see the downward spiral that can begin with fatigue, lead to frustration, demotivation, failure and paralysis from fear?

 

1. Fatigue: Just plain tired.

2. Frustration: Too much rubbish.

3. Failure: Add some demotivators.

4. Fear: Become paralysed by critics.

 

The Antidote to Discouragement

So what is the antidote to this terrible disease of discouragement? What did Nehemiah do? As a wise leader, Nehemiah assessed the situation and took the appropriate actions to correct the causes of their discouragement. We can do the same.

 

When you feel discouraged to the point of wanting to give up, you can do three things to remedy the situation: reorganize, remember, and resist.

 

1. Reorganize: Find a Better Way

Nehemiah said, "Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears, and bows." (Nehemiah 4:13)

 
Nehemiah made some strategic decisions. He prioritized those parts of the walls where they were all most vulnerable – where the wall was lowest and the people most exposed. They had begun to rebuild the walls by families but some had not made as much progress as others. Maybe it was the terrain. Maybe it was their resources. What ever it was, he strengthened the defences where most needed. He reorganises the workers by families to compensate for the weakest links. What would the effect have been? Encouragement. Motivation. Confidence building. The first principle in conquering discouragement is this: Reorganize. When you get discouraged, don't give up on your goals. Instead, devise a new approach. You can be doing the right thing but doing it in the wrong way. Was it wrong for these Jews to be building the wall? Absolutely not; it was the right thing. But they were doing the right thing in the wrong way. Do you have a problem? Reorganize your life. Try a new attitude, a new approach, a new prayer. Don’t give up.

 

Pressure can bring discouragement. For those under heavy work loads, God's message is think strategically.  Reorganize your time, reorganize your schedule, and refocus on your goal. Never lose sight of your objective. What was their objective? Build the wall. Nehemiah did this by posting the people according to family. Why did he do this? Because he knew that the discouraged need a support group. We need other people to lift us up when we’re down. The first antidote to discouragement? Reorganise: Find a better way.

 

2. Remember: Turn to the Lord

Nehemiah said, "After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials, and the rest of the people, `Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome.'" (Nehemiah 4:14)

 

What does it mean to "remember the Lord"? It means to remember his character. Remember his faithfulness. Remember his promises. Remember he is with you. Then, recommit yourself to him. It means to rededicate yourself to him. It means to draw upon his supernatural power.

 

Specifically, you need to remember three things: 

 

God’s goodness to you in the past.
When you start thinking about all the good things that God has already done in your life, your spirit will be lifted. 

 

God’s closeness in the present.

What is God doing in your life right now? Whether you feel him or not, he is with you. He promised: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)

 

God’s power for the future.

He will give you strength for your needs. "I can do everything through Christ, because he strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) When you get discouraged, get your mind off your circumstances and on to the Lord. Remember, your thoughts determine your feelings. If you feel discouraged it may be because you're thinking discouraging thoughts. If you want to feel encouraged instead, focus on the encouragement God provides in Scripture. Choose some uplifting Bible verses to memorize: “Nothing can separate me from the love of God." (Romans 8:39) "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) "Everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:23). The antidote to discouragement?

 

1. Reorganise: Find a better way.

2. Remember: Turn to the Lord.

 

3. Resist: Fight the Good Fight.

“Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your people, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” (Nehemiah 4:14)

 

Nehemiah urged the people not to give up or give in but place their faith in God, resist those who opposed them and defend their loved ones and their homes.

“When our enemies heard that we were aware of their plot and that God had frustrated it, we all returned to the wall, each to our own work.” (Nehemiah 4:15).

 

The very people who had earlier cried “we cannot rebuild the wall” did indeed rebuild the wall. How? Because they reorganized their work load, they remembered the Lord and they resisted their enemies. And the consequence? Despite further setbacks and yet even more opposition Nehemiah concludes:

 

“So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days. When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.” (Nehemiah 6:15-16)

 

In 52 days they rebuilt the walls and discouraged their enemies. The Bible teaches that Christ-followers are in a spiritual battle too. In this supernatural conflict, Satan tries his best to bring us down.

 

The devil is called “the accuser of our brothers and sisters” (Revelation 12:10). Discouragement is one of his most popular tools, because he knows that a discouraged Christian has limited potential. He knows that when we're down, our effectiveness is neutralized. So he does everything he can to discourage us.

 

Our response should be the same as Nehemiah’s. Resistance. The Apostle James says, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7) 

 

Resist him and his negative thoughts  - including all the discouragement he tries to bring into your life.

 

Paul says “Fight the good fight of the faith” (1 Timothy 6:12)

 

Friday in all the rain, Louise phoned to say she was trapped on the road on the other side of Thorpe and couldn’t cycle home through the knee deep water. I went to rescue her in the car and drove both ways through about a foot in water like all the other cars. Everything was fine until this morning when the car began to lose power when accelerating, the central locking now only works intermittently and the alarm keeps setting itself off. Discouraged? Just type ‘water damage” and cars into Google and you’ll find 2 million pages to discourage you. The lesson? Cars and water do not mix. I’ll learn my lesson even more when I take the car to have it serviced. But discouraged? Not anymore. Because from Nehemiah 4, I have learnt that it is not worth it. I’m learning to

 

1. Reorganise my life and Find a better way.

2. Remember to Turn to the Lord more often.

3. Resist the one who wants to discourage me and those I love.

 

Discouragement is a choice. If you choose, you can give in to it. But courageous people simply refuse to be discouraged. They don’t give up, even in the face of fatigue, or frustration, or fear, or failure, because their strength and confidence is found in Christ alone. Courageous people are just ordinary people who are relying on God for courage. Lets pray.

 


[1] This series and this particular sermon draws heavily on a chapter in Rick Warren’s book “God’s Answers to Life’s Difficult Questions” (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2006)  http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/pdcafe/burningquestions-discouragement.htm